I have been having a difficult week. With Garth gone all day and all night, it's rare that I have a few minutes just to myself. The kids are stir crazy and I'm going crazy trying to find different ways to keep them busy and away from turning into couch potatoes. Our yard is still torn apart and not really safe to play in and without ac in the car (and in this heat wave) it's difficult to drive to a park to let them play. So needless to say fuses are running short and everyone seems to be in a foul mood. Not only that, but the kids are getting creative staying busy by themselves and not necessarily in a good way.
I found myself yelling at the kids all day and all night until they fell asleep. I complained to Garth everyday about how badly I needed a mommy break. Last night I was having a particularly bad night and once again sent the kids to bed with them crying and my temper flaring. I was feeling so sorry for myself and just wanted to run away. Once the kids had finally fallen asleep I went to check out one of my favorite crafting blogs. The first post on that blog was a link to another blog about a little girl named Preslee.
I'm not one to go snooping blogs of people I don't know, but for some reason I felt prompted to click the link. The minute I started reading the story of this little family I began to contemplate my role as a mother and what a blessing it is (I'm tearing up just thinking about it) that my children are still here. I was humbled by the sweet testimony of this young mother that has suffered such a terrible tragedy. I felt so selfish and so guilty that I had just sent my kids to bed with me yelling at them so I could have my mommy time for the night. When all this mother wanted was one more chance to be able to put her daughter to bed.
I made a decision that tomorrow I wasn't going to yell at my kids. That I would be patient and take the time to listen to my kids and enjoy my time with them. I have to say that today has been the best day I have had all month. It wasn't perfect and the kids still got into trouble, but all of our moods seemed a lot lighter. We all had an easier time communicating and I felt that my children didn't hate me. I felt that they listened a little better and were more motivated to keep out of trouble. I'm not perfect and I know that I will have my moments when I just can't keep it together, but I have decided to not let the little mole hills become my mountains.
Here is the link to the blog in case you are curious as to what changed my attitude:
http://patrickandashley.blogspot.com/
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3 comments:
Isn't it amazing how mother's mood sets the tone in the home? It really does. I'm proud of you for making the effort to change your attitude. It's not easy. Some days I just feel mad and no one is going to change my mind... so GET OUT OF MY WAY!
I went to that blog (because I AM one who likes to snoop around other peoples' blogs) after you posted it on facebook. So sad. Aren't we blessed? Glad that you feel better. Why is Garth gone so much this summer? I've got two sisters in the same boat and sometimes they feel like they're coming unglued. Hang in there Jennie!
Garth is working two jobs this summer. We needed some extra cash to start a savings account. He found a job spraying for mosquitoes in Payette County at night. So he comes home from his first job at 6:00 p.m. and leaves for his second job at 7:30 p.m. and doesn't usually get home until around 12:00 a.m. I'm glad that he found a job that doesn't break his back, but I'm very anxious for summer to be over so he can be home at night.
That made me cry like a baby. I will think of that family each time that I get up set with Marek or RyAnna.
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